We can do hard things.
I picked up Untamed mostly because of its beautiful cover art. I had never heard of the author before, but everyone’s talking about this book online. As I started to read I realized that this wasn’t a memoir or a self-help book. It is a collection of short stories from the author’s life, a combination of both. Each story has a meaning or a lesson that she learned. The stories do go chronologically through her recent life and are telling a story while inspiring the reader. The short chapters make this book really easy to pick up and read, and overall I was just really blown away by her insight. Everything she said made me want to yell “yes!”, or “How did I not realize this before?” and other loud exclamations of encouragement and praise.
The Cages we Live in
Untamed is heavily focused on inspiring women to stand up against what society wants from them, and be who we truly are on the inside. The story of the caged animal, unable to roam free, longing for something it has never seen, is her metaphor for how women are treated. In an early chapter, she says ” Ten is when we learn how to be good girls and real boys”. She finds that this is when girls and boys start to notice what is expected of them because of their gender and conform themselves to fit the expectations of society. In other words, it’s when we begin to hide our true selves.
The book describes her journey from the traditional life she had, to life all of her own design. This transformation was her way of walking away from her cages. The stories she tells are about all the cages we are trapped in, and how she escaped them. She helps you see everything from marriage, faith, purpose, family, and identity from a new perspective and encourages us to reevaluate where we are and how we got there.
What she says about when she first met her wife is beautiful. I had to write that quote below, so you can read it in her own words.
She stands still there for a moment taking inventory if the room. I stare at her and take inventory if my entire life.Untamed by Glennon Doyle
Listen to Your Inner Voice
I learned from Untamed that if I want to rise, I have to sink first. I have to search for and depend on the voice if my inner wisdom. She calls this inner voice her knowing, but you can call it anything you believe it in, God, wisdom, intuition, the source, or your deepest self. Practicing meditation and clearing your mind of thought and focusing on the breath is one way you can learn to find your inner voice. Once you find this voice, you should listen to it, and follow what it says. You may have to give up things and it will be hard, but that is necessary to rebuild and make a beautiful life.
What being a Woman Means
Glennon wants women to break free from everything we have been taught about what it means to be a woman. Don’t believe what our culture tells us is expected of women. These are not truths. The main and most important message she has for women is, we don’t have to be selfless. There is no reason why you should be giving everything you have to others. She calls these expectations memos and burned the memo that says responsible motherhood is martyrdom. This is the message she wants all women to believe instead: that motherhood is being a model. A responsible mother shows her kids how to be fully alive. She doesn’t sacrifice and slowly die in her children’s names.
It is not healthy for mothers to sacrifice everything and give up their dreams for their children. Of course, we all want our children to have the best possible life, but this is not the answer. Your children will see that you are not truly alive and not truly happy, and what an awful burden to bear for a child, that they are the reason their mother stopped living. How many kids have used every ounce they had to get the grades to become the doctors or lawyers that their parents wanted them to be. When that profession wasn’t their passion? And they become unfulfilled and unhappy adults. They only followed that path because they knew their parents had sacrificed for them and they felt they had to respect that. And what is this teaching our daughters? That when they one day become mothers that this is their fate too. That one day she will have to give up on her dreams for the sake of her children. Instead, we should teach our daughters that love does not lock them away but frees them.
Our culture was built on and benefits from the control of women. Loud voices, strong opinions, and strong feelings are all portrayed as unladylike. When we are young we are told stories that teach us that girls who leave the path get attacked by wolves, or pricked by a spindle, and because of this, we doubt our curiosity. The beauty industry teaches us not to trust our bodies. Women feel the need to diet and control our appetite because being skinny and beautiful is the key to worthiness. A very effective way to control women is to teach them to control themselves.
Unconsciously we are trained to mistrust strong, confident women and happy girls. The more powerful a woman gets the more people don’t trust her. When a woman takes her rightful place we say she is entitled. Why is it that girls who are bold enough to break the rules annoy us so much? Instead, we should encourage our fellow women. Don’t think of her as bossy, think of her as a confident leader. Cheer on the women who know what they like and what they want.
And now that we don’t have to be good, We can be free.Untamed by Glennon Doyle
It’s not just women who are put into cages. Boys are not allowed to be whole either. They are told by society what it means to be manly. Boys are born with great potential for nurturing, caring, loving, but we train it out of them. We describe the ideal man as strong, brave, a leader, rarely do we say sensitive, or gentle. Even as women we need to be comfortable allowing men to be gentle and consistently express pain. It shouldn’t make us cringe to see a full-grown man cry. It’s part of being human to feel emotion, and it’s healthy to express your emotions. We need to let men feel comfortable expressing themselves, so violent release isn’t their go-to option.
There were so many stories and insights in Untamed that it would be too much to discuss them all here. She shared a piece of her life with us, and shared how she got to where she is. She made mistakes, like everyone does, but has a unique gift of being able to interpret her actions and finding the root cause of her feelings and emotions. She doesn’t blame others for what happens to her, instead, she deeply considers what she needs to do next. We can all learn from her, to stop and think, to do what makes you happy, learn from your mistakes, and do the hard things that are necessary to continue to grow and move forward to new and better things in life.
You are a Badass is a funny and honest book, that will teach you that you have the potential to do what you dream of. She has tips that will help you stay focused so you can be your best self.
Girl, Stop Apologizing by Rachel Hollis is written by a mother of four who grew her buisness to a successful company. She detests anything that make women feel less then, and want to teach us that we can also start our own buisness or anything else that makes you happy.
Becoming is not about being the president’s wife, or a first lady. This book is about a smart women who worked hard and became a successful lawyer in Chicago. It is about a women who wants to help the neihbourhood and people she grew up with. She started near the bottom and grew up to become one of the most recognized faces in the United States.